In our weakness

My thoughts wander about. So much has happened this week that it is hard to pull it together in a sweet little nutshell. But, alas I must write. If I don't blog, I know I'll forget....so here it goes. God's really been speaking to me lately. It's kinda scary sometimes, because I know it's Him and there's no excuse to rationalize it away as my thoughts. Last Sunday I went for a long walk along the dirt road of San Pedro Town and it was like I didn't feel alone at all. He spoke to me in such a whisper "My daughter, I love you, I will fill you, turn to me for your strength." I'm struck in awe this week at how intimate God wants to be with us. But our journey to draw closer to Him doesn't always come easy. Nor is it any small thing to really be His channel. On Wednesday a group of us was sent out to minister to the locals. We attempted to rely only on God's leading and ask Him where exactly He was leading us. We also fasted so we could rely on God's strength and not our own. But it took a lot of endurance, perseverance, faith and patience. There were times we would walk for an hour looking to see whom God was going to lead us to. There were times when the sun got so hot and we got faint in heart and physically drained. The first day we went up to a nice home where we met the maid and after chatting a bit, we voleenteered to rake her beach and clean the floors. She was overwhelmed with our service, and expressed her gratitude in broken English. We got to bless her and pray with her and invite her to church. She was overjoyed and so were we! Thursday we went on a prayer walk around the slum village of San Mateo. We saw a school called The Holy Cross Elementary and as we felt lead we went in and asked the principle if we could help her out, and do something with the kids. They readily accepted our offer, but we had NO idea what was about to take place. The principle turned two whole classrooms of 7-10 year olds over to us! I bet you're thinking: Awesome! But if you've ever been a substitute teacher you can probably predict what I'm about to say! AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! The kids were good for about 10 minutes, and then it was total chaos, but I tried my best to give it all I could tutored them, played some games and taught them some songs. I felt like I nearly was losing it! But as we left the classroom, a little boy slipped me a thank you note and some of the girls looked sorry to have to say good by in just 2 hrs. As soon as the 5 of us regrouped we were exhuasted out of our minds and began to pray desperately for God to refuel us and continue to lead us where we should go. He did and we went one little house built with scrap wood. Thank God two of us knew a little Spanish, however it was difficult. I really wanted to see inside their home, so in my limited Spanish I asked: Are we able to see your house? I was surprised at how welcoming the family was. We went in their home, sat with them, talked with them and pretty much just show them that we cared. I learned that one of them had a dream that white people came and visited them giving them hope. I can not explain how amazing it felt to truly be Christ's hands and feet!!! They even asked us for prayer. There was a mother and father and two children all living in a little shack of a place with only one bedroom separated by a thin sheet. I became somewhat fond of their simplicity, but sad that 9 yr old Joselyn and her brother were unable to attend school simply because they were from Guatemala. Martha was pregnant with her third child and I can only imagine how scarcely they get by! But what can I say, we blessed them simply by showing them that they mattered and were loved. They begged us to return so yesterday we brought them bananas and cookies and a toy for the baby. They all sat around struck with gratitude and awe that we would return. We then played games, sang songs and we each got a turn to hold baby Ander in our arms. We prayed with the family and hugged them goodbye, then we walked the two hours home, again weak from hunger, dizzy from the heat, but this time we walked with more confidence knowing that in our weakness, Jesus Christ showed Himself strong!!! I can't wait for next week because it's ministry week and we are going to be pouring our a lot and working hard!!! Pray that God will protect, provide and guide us every step of the way. Thank you for walking with me virtually on this journey. I love you all!

Mauled by children

Worldview. There are so many worldviews out there. This is such a huge topic because everybody sees things from different perspectives, being raised in different places, cultures and environments. Religion also shapes one's worldview. This is what we are learning this week, about different religions like Buddhism, Hinduism and Islam. We are also discussing what different denominations believe. The real question we are asking this week is what do we believe, and why do we believe what we believe and how do we share the gospel. I absolutely love our speaker this week. Chris Toney is the director of Destination Paradise Discipleship Training School here in Belize. He has traveled to 93 countries of the world and has had the opportunity to work with Mercy Ships in the past which focusses on bringing medical aid to people all over the world in dire need like Trinidad and Africa. He also got to witness to thousands of people over the years simply by being willing to be Christ's hands and feet. I loved the quote he shared with us this morning from St Francis of Assisi: "Preach the gospel at all times. If necessary use words." Wow! So overall the way to show the gospel to people is simply by living it out, and loving people and through that you show them God. I am getting so excited as I hear from each speaker to have opportunities like Chris, Jeff, John and the missionaries I read about to be a channel of love to people who are so hungry for it, and hungry for love, little did I know how soon this opportunity would be. Tonight I went to town as usual for our Friday night out. We take boat runs into town from our island of Ambergris Caye and get to see the real culture, eat at a restaurant or just hang out. This time, I felt specifically that God wanted me to go to town with the objective to go wherever He lead me. So I found myself at the park eating a shrimp burger and watching the kids play in the park. I wondered how and if I could play with the kids, show them some love and if they would welcome me. Funny, but soon a little girl came and started staring at me, thankfully I was able to start a conversation with her in Spanish. She was 4 and before long I was her new best friend. I went over to the beach and asked her if she'd like to play a game with me. Excitedly she said yes, and we started with tic tak toe, then hopscotch and before long about 10 children between 2yrs and 9yrs old joined us and I was being mauled in every direction by kids chasing me and asking me to tell them stories, and tag them. Soon a young man joined our games, and I found out he was a Christian and came from Canada to skydive. He chose to spend his evenings playing with the kids at the park rather than partying like his friends. We had a great time playing different games with the kids for the next 3 hours. But as 9:30pm rolled around, I had to bid the children farewell despite their eager pleas for me to stay. I gave all the precious little children hugs and promised to return next Friday! I slowly walked away to my boat taxi, with my heart overflowing with joy! Thank God for an opportunity to love on kids! .......to be continued

God uses broken people!!!

Wow! Praise God! These past two weeks have been so wonderful! I've been learning so much! These speakers are so amazing. I love lectures! Currently John Merphy is teaching about relationships. What a great topic, from such an oustanding guy. John is the DTS director of Boarders DTS just outside of Denver Colorado. He is 31 years old, married to an amazing gal and has 5 children while he travels often speaking in various DTS schools on the topic of relationships. Yesterday we got to hear his story. It rocked my world! I have not heard of anyone who has both experienced as many miracles and losses. This guy was healed miraculously from a broken tail bone and serious cancer and constantly had oppurtunities to see crazy healings unfold before his eyes as he took his teams on outreaches around the world. But this same man lost his mother in law to cancer as well as his darling little 10 month old baby. More recently a young man shot up his DTS school, killing 2 students. Though it was evident as he shared how much these things tore him to pieces inside, he shared with us through his tears how he was still choosing to trust in God and how he couldn't see how he could have done it without Him. John said we have to choose sometimes even in the good and bad times to say "Blessed be Your Name" to God, even when we don't feel like it. Wow! I was shaken to my core seeing this man's faith, and how he just keeps going no matter what. I was encouraged how much God can use us when we are broken and weak almost more than when we are strong. But I don't like to be broken or weak, I don't know who does, but I am just so encouraged to go forward like this man of God and change the world like him and other amazing people!
I'm so looking forward to everything God is going to teach me this rest of the week. Pray that I might have ears to hear and a heart open to receive whatever God wants to show me. Thank to all my supporters back home and I just want to say that I am sooo close to my financial need for my tuition payments! God knows all my needs and will provide! He is GOOD!!!